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Indecision (aka: Coming or Going?)

I am back from taking a break from blogging. Some of you expressed concern over my absence. Trust me, it was noticed and appreciated. I have gone through some times of depression as well as times of stability. I needed to step back from blogging to make sure it wasn’t becoming a “high” for me that I would become addicted to. Uncertainty

Indecision is a good description of my primary feeling as the year 2013 wraps up and the year 2014 looms ahead. There is always uncertainty regarding the future because I do not have a mind that can look into it. While the experiences of this past year have shaped me somewhat for the coming year, there is also much of the past year I would as soon leave behind. There have been times this past year where I have felt the One Who holds my hand. I have wrestled with Him over the uncertainties of this life, and He has held tight when I have wanted to let go. His love is relentless and He wants me more than I want Him.

My hope for 2014 is that whether my mind is clouded by confusion or whether there are times of clarity, I just want to remain aware of the One Who holds my hand.

Am I coming or am I going?

Either/or is what it seems.

Am I being or am I doing?

One or the other, or in between.


Do I say it, or display it,

when I’m trying to make a point?

Can I take it, or shall I leave it,

when I’m pushed upon and out of joint?


Do I address with aggression,

or suppress my repression?

The expression of assertion seems so foreign to me. 

How do I say it right? Isn’t this just all about fright?


How do I relate without fearing?

Stand tall without tearing?

Face others without jeering

like others who seem to know…


When they are coming and when they are going. 

What they are doing and who they are being.


They know when to say it and how to display it.

They can take it or they can leave it when pushed out of joint.


They don’t address with aggression, nor suppress their regression.

They assert what they hurt, and give flight to their fright.


They relate without fearing and stand tall without tearing.

They face others without jeering, because they know…

Who holds their hand.


2 thoughts on “Indecision (aka: Coming or Going?)

  1. Thanks Topaz! God is not done with me yet! My house was burglarized on Christmas Eve Day while I was at work and enjoying Christmas Eve service with two of my sons. Left me feeling a bit shaky, but am much better now. They got my laptop with all my journals, poetry, etc., so I hope they enjoy it! Either that or the HD will be wiped clean and then I will have a whole lot of new writing to have to come up with! What a crazy life!


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